Usually when you leave a message there is a nice ring to your voice, something loving the way it teases as it says, ‘See you soon’. But none of that today. The christian zealot is mad I did not attend the Mass to thank the God who saved his very life from the hands of cancer. I went there once, though. To pray. I had teary eyes and a nice dagger through my heart and it helped me to beg a lot. And miraculously a week later the doctor said you had five more years. I thanked God… It’s been four years since then, and you know I know it’s time to start begging again. But Ian, I don’t think it will help. The coffee is getting cold like it always does when I’m typing away at my computer. You never seem to mind though, wrapped up in your own thoughts as you ask, ‘Want another cup?’ How different we are and how quiet the same. Your detachment almost complimentary to mine, even after all these years. Should we call it love? Why not? Yes, you always have a funny way of putting things, too.. .” My voice trailed off as I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to figure out what to say.DJ gave me a skeptical look. “You don’t seem particularly inclined to fight for her.”I grimaced. “It’s not that I don’t want to, but--”“But you don’t really look like you want to,” DJ pointed out. “Look at you. Are you curled in a fetal position rocking back and forth in a panic that you may have lost your fiancée? Are you going sex-crazy, dragging the nearest female into your bed trying to fuck away the pain? Or are you just sitting there ... talking about it? Rather calmly, I might add. Let’s face it: You’re not acting like the great love of your life is slipping away.”“Give him a break.” Dayna rubbed my leg and gave me an encouraging smile. “Maybe you’re just handling the situation better than you did in the past. You’re getting more mature.”DJ shook her head. “Or maybe he doesn’t love her as much as he thought he did.”“What are you talking about?” Dayna protested, again turning back to rub my leg..
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