I opened my eyes in alarm. What was this guy doing? Was he going to rob me?But the instant I was about to elbow him away, I felt how his hand took advantage of the looseness of my cargo shorts pockets, and began plucking my groin line and caressing my inner leg. I froze. A shiver ran up my spine. What was this doing? I was totally confused. Instead of robbing me, he was actually rubbing me.I hesitated. And not reacting immediately, apparently, I encouraged him to pluck and caress some more. Then, he grabbed the base of my genitals and gently squeezed. Finally, he skillfully cupped my balls, giving them a swift rub and squeeze, and that was all it took to disarm me. A part of me wanted to push him away and punch him. Instead, I was dominated by the other part of me that liked it. I couldn’t believe I was allowing this stranger to take advantage of me like that, but memories of previous similar experiences ran through my mind and I admit that I wanted to see where all this. Gradually, I started being drawn into the circle of the intellectualgirls, even though I was struggling in class more than I expected. Iknew I didn't fit with the mean girls, or the emo girls?what a strangebunch?but I wasn't exactly intellectual material either. There was agroup of us, who were social misfits to one degree or another. We hungout in the school library, at the coffee shop near the school, and themall. I think that's where I started to get the shopping bug. We'dwindow shop and try on outfits, go to the makeup counters at thedepartment stores and get samples....I couldn't believe it, but I wasstarting to enjoy getting girly at times. It was a fun escape. If youhad told me a year earlier I would have been debating the merits ofdifferent shades of lipstick, I would have looked at you like you werecrazy.Like I said, I was catching on that I wasn't going to dominate the honorroll this time around. You know, I only got one 'B' on my first tripthrough high school, and I still.
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