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We sabotaged ourselves with ignorance and summoned the inevitable with our own shortcomings. Like the rain from the skies they fell over us, destroying with the walls the ground beneath us. Our bridge covered hundreds of miles in a brief, harrowing span of time but could collapse under a single wrong footstep. Every movement was a gamble and every raindrop a waterfall. We couldn’t live any other way. We were too passionate, too young, too naive, and too idealistic. We were two people who could feel no emotion that wasn’t at its most extreme. Today, I stand alone in the less-than-metaphysical world, awaiting you grimly on that hillside where we first discovered each other within each other. My innocence is in pieces, and so are you, I fear. Every heartbeat is as fast as a jackhammer with just as much force. I still feel the chills of your skin touching mine even though I don’t know where you are. I don’t know where you are, and it stabs my veins with guilt and anxiety. I wish you were. "I must speak to her again. I have too many unanswered questions." I wondered if you would come back today," Juanita said, welcoming Roxanne into her office. "How are you feeling? What are your thoughts about your experiences yesterday?" Well, my bottom is a little sore, but I took a long bath this morning and that has helped. But I am still confused and conflicted, I think." She paused, trying to decide how best to explain her feelings. "All my life, from the time that I was a young girl, I have learned, and thus believed, that sex, for a girl, was just something she had to endure. And that's pretty much how my sex life has been. I can't believe I am telling you this. But now, if I believe and accept the things that you have told me, I feel lost. This morning I was angry, at you for causing this upheaval in my life and at myself for both allowing it and for being so stupid about sex. But now I think about how my mother looked at life and her marriage and wonder if this may have been.
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