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Why had I not selected a young pretty woman? Or a dozen? I had no idea. Many of the unmarried women were rather pretty, several even would have been considered the top beauties of the valley, but none of them could pierce through my armor of anger and resentment.The polite consensus of my physical and mental condition that first winter was that I was a 'complete mess'. I was still angry at my father, and the women who had forced me into becoming a soldier against my will, and I let everyone know it at the slightest provocation.I was living alone at my father's farm and drinking far more than was either good or healthy for me, and I would still wake up screaming every single night imagining that there was a Caestor legionnaire there in my bedroom that was just inches away from cutting my throat. My night terrors were getting worse rather than better, and I had just enough sense left to know that if I had a woman sharing my bed, the odds were that I'd stab her in my delirium with the. It's the one place you can be you, and not your mother's perfect little girl." I've gotten so good at acting that I don't always know where the real me leaves off," I said. I looked behind me. The camera crew was getting ready to do a live broadcast for another station. "Got to go." I'll see you in school," Cynthia said. "Maybe we can organize a chat or something." Maybe," I replied. I picked up my sign and joined the circle. Another day, another protest. I lifted my head proudly. We were boldly 'speaking truth to power', something nobody'd ever try in a real totalitarian state. Activity like that would get us a bullet in the back of the head, something Mother and her friends never seemed to realize. Or maybe they did, but thought they'd be pulling the trigger.On Monday I stayed longer in the Construct than the Girls Counselor expected. "What happened?" she asked when I pushed the hood up."Student-teacher assessment," I said. I glanced at the clock. I'd only run five minutes over,.
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