I suddenly feel stupid sittingthere in my cargo shorts and when they get within earshot, I excusemyself to go put on my bathing suit. As i make my way backto the cabin, Ipass some of the guys from my cabin looking like they're headed to war,decked out in their airsoft safety here." Hey, where are you going, Josh?" Brandon asks, muffled by the sound ofthe facemask he's wearing."I'm headed to put on my bathing suit so i can go swimming with theladies of Cabin 1." I respond simply, continuing to walk.(Behind Josh's back)"Ha! swimming with the ladies. A real man would be getting ready to playa few rounds of airsoft with us. Who knew Josh would turn into such alittle faggot over junior year? I mean, last year--even last month whenwe hung out, he would have jumped on the opportunity to do something likethis. Man, whatever. Let's go have some fun."I get to the cabin and change into my swim trunks and jog back shirtlessto show my washboard abs off to the lady-folk of camp. We hang out forthe. I pulled my knees up to my chest. Squeezing into a tight position, I said, ‘Do you treat her the way you treated me?’ He shook his head. ‘Len is fragile, Xiara. She wouldn’t be able to handle all the things you could and did.’ I held back a tear as I continued my questioning. ‘So you’re gentle and loving to her?’ He only shrugged. ‘Len is a gentle and loving woman.’ I sniffled a little, a tear beginning to run down my cheeks. ‘And I wasn’t?’ He shook his head. ‘You were a whiny, emotional child, Xiara. You needed discipline.’ I buried my face into my knees, halfway sobbing. ‘I didn’t need discipline! I needed love and affection, and the one human being who could possibly give me that unconditionally is gone! You made me kill my only child!’ He scoffed again, my comments not seeming to affect him anymore. ‘Your child felt no pain.’ I looked up crazily, abruptly stopping my cries. ‘My child felt no pain. Really? So if my intentions were to do the same to Sierra what you did to my.
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