I no longer go to the movies because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.I no longer go to shopping centers because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up a dime coin dropped in the car park because it was probably placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas. ” To be honest, it felt a bit weird going to Nora’s house. If she had been someone else, less burly, less fierce, I would have been looking forward to a bit of music followed by a bit of playing her body. But I was pretty sure I was barking up the wrong tree. She was wearing a red dress. Crimson. Very nice. Very slimming. And she smelled of Chanel Number 5. She poured us a glass of Chablis each and showed me briefly around the house. Quite a big place. Victorian. The piano was in a sort of sitting room at the back. Nora sat on the stool and gave me the start of Grieg’s Piano Concerto, then stopped. “No,” she said. “Never was very good. My husband used to like me to play and said nice things, but… you know. You play. The Gymnopedies.” I played rather nervously but relaxed when I saw she was genuinely enjoying it. When I had finished she refilled our glasses and sat beside me on the stool, her war, soft, fragrant flesh squashed against me. “Sexiest thing in the world,” she said. “A.
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