He said only a beautiful woman could glide over the floor, swaying the way I did. He doesn't say that anymore.I don't know who I am these days. I look in my eyes in the mirror and try to see but they show me nothing. I cannot explain to Mark how much I hurt because I have caused him such deep pain. The shame of sleeping with another man is constantly on my mind; I can't shake it. If there were some way of explaining to my husband, my love, how I truly feel, I would do it. He won't listen to me though. I'm afraid I've hurt him too much.We haven't talked much since that day when Mark walked out of the doctor's office--just briefly, and about things to do for, or with, Alyssa. I don't know what to say to him anyway. Doctor Jamison says I need to let my guilt slide away but I don't know how to do that. I am guilty... guilty of cheating on Mark, and Alyssa too. My God, the memories of what I said to him the last night I was with that Brian haunt me day and night. I can't sleep without. He rode again the next day, toiling up now barren mountains and then down again. He wanted to fall back into his old habits, but he was alone and had to stay alert. He stretched his Blue again, pleased that it came a little easier and doubly pleased that no humans were near.Three days more and Porter climbed the last foothill, not realizing the fact until he reached the summit and saw the temperate forest spreading out at the horizon, the forest which held the village of Edgewood and Zeb’s stead on the other side. He had forgotten the name of the forest that Harlan had named for him so long ago. The woods looked almost inviting after the twisted forests of the northern climes, which forced a man to spend his days ducking and diving to avoid the next branch. He guessed that the forest’s was some ten kilometers from the base of the foothill. Ten kilometers where he would be visible and exposed, where, he suspected humans dwelled and pastured their herds of hamox and other domesticated.
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