She was banished from my eyes andfrom my thoughts. I was occupying myself with music and porn and glue. Thosewere good days in fact. I had no worries back then except to forget about a girlI could never have. I was free to explore all the pleasures my body and mindoffered and I did it, I drank from the source, ate like a pig, swallowed pornand glue and weed and cider and lager and I masturbated furiously.And before I was aware, I was free of her. It became possible to think about herand not experience just pain. I stopped caring. A good thing.And then, the letter."I know I have to thank you, you taught me how hard it is wishing just for theonly thing you can never have."The only thing she could never have.She could never have.Never have.Me.It was like a bad pulp romantic novel. I could smell the glue, the cheap painton greyish paper, the pages stuffed chockfull of cliches and stereotypes, thecharacters made of cardboard moved through situations painted with careless,impatient moves.. She adds, “I know you’re not into women. But have you ever wondered what it would be like? I have to admit, when I see you in the shower or getting dressed, I sometimes wonder what it would be like if we were intimate.” I just look at her for a minute thinking of an answer. I realize I need to be as honest with her as she is with me. “Yes, I have thought about it.” She looks at her boyfriend and he just nods. Mark gets up and goes over next to Chad. Sherry comes over and sits next to me on the couch. She puts her arm around me and slowly leans in for a soft kiss. I kiss her back softly at first, then a little deeper. We continue to kiss and turn to rub our bodies together. Pressing our breasts together, hands rubbing everywhere. We continue to kiss and rub for several minutes, just feeling each other. Mark and Chad just sit and watch, neither moving or talking. I slowly move my hand to Sherry’s wetness, pressing my fingers against her clit. As she leans back against the couch, I.
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