At the same time, it made me feel bothsad and awkward. I knew now that I had in fact been Matt's buddy foryears and we had palled around the way guys do; the image of that mademe feel uncomfortable, even disgusted. And I had been having fun withZoe just a few days ago, thinking we were both alike, girls the sameage...she had not wanted to shock me with the truth, and it had indeedcome as a shock, but I missed the closeness I used to feel with her.I was embarrassed to have to go to a special class for English andHistory, since my verbal skills had deteriorated so badly. The good partwas that this meant I got to go see a cognitive specialist, Ms. Black,and she was really great. She did not push me, and spoke slowly andsoftly, and was never critical. She got me to worry less about the pastand future and focus more on the present, on what I was thinking andfeeling right now in this moment. Gradually I got more in touch with myself. Then she started asking "So you feel at peace right now,. She checked upstairs, the living room, the basement, but couldn’t find them. Ray was shoveling the sidewalk, maybe they went out with him.As she walked to the front door, she glanced in the study. Sitting on the sofa, little six year old bookends on either side of him, was Noel. The girls sat absolutely still as he read to them.“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”Applause and screeching broke the quiet.“Read it again, please Uncle Noel?”“No! I want Polar Express.”Anne interrupted them, “Okay girls, that’s it. One story a night is enough. Get your jammies and head to the bathroom. Brush your teeth before your bath.”The girls said goodnight and went upstairs, with the promise that Uncle Noel would eat breakfast with them, before school. After the twins were tucked in their beds, the three adults gathered in the living room. Ray had a crackling fire burning when Anne returned with a tray of coffee. The soft sounds of Kenny G’s Holiday Collection played in the.
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