I’d give anything to be lying out in the sun, listening to the waves, working on my tan...”Images of Mischelle lying in the sand, wearing a skimpy bikini, started to flash through my head. I groaned silently as I began to get hard again, and I felt my erection pressing into the soft valley between her cheeks. If she noticed, she didn’t say anything. We lay like that in silence for a long time. After a while, she reached up and took my hand that was curled around her. She held it in hers softly, and I felt a brush of her wet lips as she kissed the back of my hand.Thanks, Smith…you’re the best.” She pulled my hand tight against her and held it there, pressed up against her breast. I know she was just being emotional, as girls usually are, and I didn’t even consider it something sexual. On the other hand, I didn’t immediately pull my hand away, either. I’d never felt a girl up before, and the fact that it was my brother’s wife was not important at the time. With the palm of my hand, I. .." he searched for a word, " ... that. I just do." I know," I hugged him. "I felt so lonely for a moment. I was trying to convince myself that I was dead and for just a second it felt like I was." I didn't know if I could explain this, but I was so excited that I had to try. "I felt nothing at all and my heart ... It stopped, I think."My husband looked at me."What?" I asked, giggling and feeling foolish."I don't want you to die." I know that, we're just ... Pretending, right?" I kissed him.Whatever epiphany I'd experienced that night hadn't totally convinced me of what we were doing however. I'd found excitement first in the discipline of 'dying' and then again when I was able to abandon that effort and be 'saved' in a manner of speaking. It was tempting to use the word resurrected, but I feared such language. My husband's experience was different, I thought. I wasn't sure his idea was so dissimilar, but for him there could be no salvation for his lover. I suspected that he would.
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