The saleswoman, whose name tag identified her as Rachel, was very fit and in her mid thirties. She had her straight dark hair pulled back. "May I help you," she said."Ah, yes. I need to buy a tutu." Is your daughter with a specific dance company? I have the list to tell me which one she needs," she explained."Well, you see, the tutu isn't for my daughter. It's for me."Her jaw dropped just a little bit. "Well, I don't understand," she said, "what are you looking for? Are you in a comedy production?" No, I just like to wear tutus," I said.She took a breath, and then said, "Well, do you want a romantic or a classical tutu?" I don't know," I said, "What's the difference?" The romantic is like the long skirts worn in Giselle. The classical is the straighter, shorter style worn by ballerinas in productions like Swan Lake." Like the ones in Swan Lake, I guess," I said."Okay," she said, "I have one or two in stock that may fit you. They are size adult large." She brought out the tutus, one. I’m grinning wide, matching the ugliness insider her. I finally know a secret she doesn’t. And it burns her up. I know it from the way she thrusts with erratic jabs, skewering my dark cavern over and over again as musky juice flows from my flared cunt like the river Styx, shuttling the name she wants further and further into the abyss. The last note of a song hits and I realize I know it. She used to play it on a Steinway. “What’s our name?” she screams one final time before flooding my guts with volcanic fire. I see white and everything starts to fade. Steel bars are already dropping. She tries to stop them, to delay the switch. But it’s an eternity too late.VIII. It’s a jaw-clenching peal of thunder that finally jolts me awake. And the first thing I feel is a familiar twitch sparking in my feet, an instinctual need I haven’t felt in a very long time. To feel hard pavement burning away beneath them, mile by mile, until I’m doubled over, panting with the kind of pain that makes.
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