." Sorry." Her eyes were cast downward."You know, you look very pretty when you just wear the plain schooluniform," Sharon said. Deanna shrugged."You weren't planning on going out like this, were you?"This time there was a slight shaking of her head, barely perceptible."I'm glad of that," Sharon went on. "Because the only women who actuallydress like this pose on internet sites or dance in strip clubs. Orworse."She stopped. Deanna looked like she might cry at any moment."Why didn't you tell me?" she asked at last."You, of all people, should know the answer to that. Unless we arelooking for some kind of notoriety, we are most of us terrified oftelling anyone about who we were. Jocelyn had to guess. Most of us haveto be caught." But I'm like you. Why should you have been afraid for me to know?" Because you were trusting me as a woman, and happy being accepted by awoman for who you were. Then, your mother approached me, and I was afraidthat if she found out, she would ignore the advice I. Apologies weren't enough, too little too late - lookingback on my screams and shouting made me squirm. When Lexia had mostneeded a friend, that should have been me.When she'd finished painting, she sat beside me on the bed. Stretchingout my legs I wriggled my toes next to hers and you couldn't tell thedifference in our biology."You know," I said into the quiet, "it was really hard for me. To findout you were..." A girl? Sorry." I wish... you'd said something earlier." What difference would it have made?" I loved you." Loved?" Shit, Alex. I'm no lesbian!"She snorted miserably. "It was all so fucking horrible. Elise, you werefucking awful and that was the worst."Which hurt, with its truth."You don't understand. I gave my heart, mind and body to you and all thetime you were... pretending." Never my love for you."Quiet stretched."I missed you." I touched her hand. We'd always held hands, even whenthey'd laughed and taken the piss at school."Me or him?"So I held her hand tight again..
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