Andrews, my middle school counselor. Intervention was her favorite word."Have fun, dear." Mom gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek."Get her out of here, and don't bring her back until she's sane again," Elaine ordered, standing at Mom's shoulder.Sane? I bash my brains out on a diving board and she expects me to be sane?The next thing I know I'm squeezed between Fran and Missy in the back seat of a small car, my head brushing the roof, while Gail is behind the wheel. It's her mom's car, so Mrs. Devers was in on it, too, which meant I was seriously outnumbered."What can I do? I'm not supposed to swim, remember?" We don't need your swimming," Gail retorted over her shoulder. "Well, that's not true, we do, but we'll just have to paddle on without it. What we need right now is your mojo." My mojo? What makes you think I have any mojo?" Whether you realize it or not," Fran put in, "you are a mountain of mojo."It was too much to hope that they'd sneak me in a back door, of course. I was. " "Restraint?" Derek asked with a furled brow. "Yes," Auntie Candy responded. "Restraint." I won't be harmed, will I?" he asked, anxiety clear in his voice. "Absolutely not," Auntie Candy replied firmly. "Some discipline is involved, of course, particularly in the early stages, but there will be no permanent injuries to you of any kind. I guarantee it." "All right then," said Derek hesitantly. "About your fee..." Auntie Candy held up a commanding hand, stopping him in his tracks. "We can discuss my fee after I'm done," she said firmly. "I operate on a, shall we say, sliding scale. You pay for results, not promises." A darkly satisfied smile flashed across those perfect crimson red lips, then vanished. "I dare say, though, that I've never had an unsatisfied client, nor one that felt I'd overcharged." "Results, not promises," Derek repeated."Yes." Her face became all business again. "So, please turn in your cell phone and any other forms of communication you might have, as well as your.
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