In my illness it was impossible tocherish Earth or This Life with anything like Roberto's enthusiasm. Heleft rather quickly, let down by my lack of interest in all the things hehad to say about the wonders of Earth-worship.In the throes of this illness, suspicion marked my psyche. I doubted somany presumptions, but never the meaningfulness, to me, of my personalpractice of cross-dressing. Transvestitism has always been a kind ofperformance art in which, in my case, I'm both performer and viewer,fashion designer and runway audience; though all of this seems to stressthe visual, whereas, in my case, clothes' tactility has always been mostimportant. Hence my obsession with hosiery. I realized more and morethat, beneath the chic fashionableness--in some circles--of queer posturingand philosophically hollow gender nonconformity, all of the internalrealities of lifelong cross-dressers like myself still surge and spilland shoot like hot lava, as do the philosophically comprehensive. Hand over my phone. I gotta go." He ordered as he buttoned his shorts."Fuck you, man! Not with this video on it." I said boldly."Fuck me? Fuck you, you cocksucker! Hand over my phone. I'm keeping that vid and, unless you want Marcie to see it, you're going to blow me whenever I want."Jake reached for the phone but I twisted it away from his reach."Jake." I said as I thrust the phone behind me with one hand and my other on his chest holding him back. "You are not leaving here with that video". "But -"Jake reached for the phone again. "The fuck I'm not".Twisting the phone out of his reach behind me and pushing him again while standing up and looking him in the eyes I yelled "BUT WHAT I WILL DO...!".Jake lowered his arm slightly and cocked his head as if to hear me better."But what I will do..." I continued, "is suck you. Anytime you want." "I'll suck you like today. I'll lick your balls and deepthroat your cock. I'll swallow your cum." "I'll do this, I swear. You don't need this.
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