Jason was sitting up in bed, waiting for the return of his mother. His trepidation was mounting. He feared the worst about what this “little chat” would be about, because it wasn’t hard to put two-and-two together to see what his mother had been hinting at. Yet what could he do about it? He was a slave to his body’s needs and its desperate longing for fulfilment.His stomach cramps were getting worse by the hour, his thoughts becoming ever more salacious. He had tried in vain to ‘will’ himself to cum, by imagining a sexual situation or adventure, a fantasy where intense mental concentration would transmute into something tangible. He’d long to put his hand on his cock, so that physical stimulation matched mental. But the casts on his arms prevented him from doing so, holding him prisoner, defying and denying him every time.That last hurdle was so difficult to surmount. It was as if the finish line would be in sight, almost within reach, when something then hauled him back at the. As then, he had risen before first light, stripped himself naked, and sat cross-legged and unmoving on the hard floor next to his bed, deep in meditation.Even in this state, his thoughts were troubled. Through this ritual, he asked the gods to understand the reasons behind his task and to protect him if they felt his cause was just. In times past, he was already convinced he was in the right. But now "right" was such a nebulous concept that he could not offer his own convictions as evidence of having chosen the right path. There were only varying degrees of injustice and no clear and "right" answer.Many times Jollis felt the gods as a tangible presence, radiating a warm glory in his mind, a sign his path was blessed. He felt nothing but scrutiny now, as if the gods were a tribunal, silently judging him from behind a dark veil. He had the odd sense they were waiting, intent to watch the events unfold and then decide, as if they themselves had little insight into the future.Long and.
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