I could not stop thinking about him. I picked up a book but dropped it after 10 minutes, unable to concentrate. I tried working on a long-postponed house project, fixing some loose stairs coming off the deck, but gave up after mashing my thumb with a hammer. I turned on the TV but paid it little attention, staring blankly out the window. Finally I turned it off and just sat there thinking. About Steve, of course. About what we had done, about what I had done, much of it for the first time in my life, much of it I never would have thought myself capable of. Kiss a guy? Suck his dick? A day earlier I would have scoffed at the idea. Now I knew I could not only do these things, but that I liked these things, at least with him. Did that mean I was gay? I recalled the shame and guilt I felt after that night on the boat years ago, when I’d had my only encounter with another man. I didn’t feel that shame and guilt now. I felt, well, like a burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt. Mera tool bhi uske lie tayar hi tha. To me ne apni zip ko khol kar tool ko bahar nikal k eek hi zatke me pura tool daal diya jis se uske muh se chikh nikal gayi. Hotel me logo ki shor ki wajah se koi sun nahi paya varna to log vaha aa hi jate. Mene kaha ye kya kar rahi ho ? to wo boli tum ne aaj se pehle sex nahi kiya ? mene kaha kiya to bahot baar hai lekin itni jaldi me nahi kiya.To wo boli jara dhire karo tumne to meri jaan hi nikal di thi. Phir me dhire dhire dhakke lagane laga. aisa kariban 15 minit tak chala. Itne time me wo do baar jhad chuki thi. To wo achanak age khisak gai aur boli “ Kya tumhara irada puri raat aise hi machine chalane ka hai “ me kuchh kahu usse pehle usne apni penty upar karli aur sath hi salwar ka bhi nada bandh diya. Mera tool abhi bhi khada tha. Me uski aur dekhta raha aur wo waha se chali gayi.Thodi der baad me bhi pichhe pichhe bus me chala gaya. Aur pehle ki tara uske paas jake baith gaya. Ab phir se bus waha se chal padi aur conductor ne light bandh.
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