To me, they meant nothing — they were part of the scenery, they lived, they suffered, they died, under eagerly watchful eyes or alone and forgotten — but she, she, she had become my obsession. I learned to stay still. To take off my clothes, to recline on a not too uncomfortable piece of furniture, in a not too uncomfortable but revealing pose, to keep my eyes open, and to stay still. There was no one to reveal myself to, there was no one into whose eyes to lock my gaze, I looked into emptiness, into a corner of my large room with its sparse furniture, high ceiling, large windows, bare walls onto which the sun drew its patterns, shadows of the huge old trees outside, but I defied the temptation to look at the patterns as they moved, as the wind blew through the leaves and branches, as the sun moved slowly across the sky — I looked into nothingness, as I stayed still, as I looked into her eyes, into her dark eyes, and into her crystal ones. Sometimes, though it scared me, I settled. Quarantine did let me cook so much more for my son. Make sure he was eating healthy food and not all that junk food. Was it my imagination, or did I feel his eyes on my ass?I couldn’t help but bending over as I flipped the ham and cheese omelets over. My breasts rose and fell in my tank top, this excitement coursing through me. He sat down in a place where he could stare right at me.“Hey, Mom,” he said, his eyes looking over my body.“Morning, Kevin,” I said, turning to him and giving him a big, motherly smile. His eyes drifted down to my chest. To my breasts. This pleased warmth rippled through me and ended at my pussy. That itch grew in me.I was flirting with my son. I was showing off for him. And he appreciated it.His eyes were on me as I cooked. I had his undivided attention. It felt so good. Made me feel like a woman. I had been only a mom for over a month, scared by the media, nearly in a panic at times, but here, in quarantine, I was remembering other aspects of my life. My.
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