It’s okay if you disagree with me. I can’t force you to be right.How’s your day if it’s good you’ll need wine to celebrate! If it’s bad you’ll need wine to feel better!Never walk a mile in my shoes. You will just end up drunk, lost and looking for your shoes.If a woman says do what you want. Do not do what want, standstill. Do not blink. Don’t even agree. Just play dead.Yes officer, I didn’t see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you!This group is compliments of Alan B.Still more hand-picked lousy humor...Why is a woman like a condom? Because both spend more time in your wallet than on your penis.My girlfriend’s dad asked me what I do. Apparently “Your daughter” wasn’t the right answer.What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.The teacher asked Jimmy, “Why is your cat at school today, Jimmy” Jimmy replied, crying, “Because I heard my dad tell my mom ‘I’m going to eat that pussy when Jimmy goes to school today’”“Babe,. . it seems the 'natural' thing to do ... but, somehow, I miss making it 'official', telling our families and all that. What do you think?" Why don't we have everyone we love come together and we announce it? Would that appeal to you... ?"Three days later, we were sitting on the patio at Aunt Jane's place, sunbathing and chatting with her, when there was a knock at the back yard gate. It was Lisa and Kelly."Hello, we received this mysterious invitation to drop by ... What's up?"While I set up some extra chairs and Lisa and Kelly stripped down as well, Jill went into the kitchen to get the bottle of sparkling wine she has hidden in the fridge and some tulip shaped champagne glasses. When she returned, she said "We have an announcement to make ... A few days ago, Joe and I got married ... we did it together, with just the sun and the trees as witnesses but we wanted to tell you, the three most important people in our lives, about it so that you could share in our joy. Since Kelly was.
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