A faint whiff of creosote tells me they're torches. I want to turn toward each one as if I'm a daisy and it a tiny sun.Martin doesn't rush me, but he doesn't slow, either. Eventually, he stops."We're turning left. Another threshold."The air is warmer, and there's a feeling of enclosed space. I can't tell how large the room is, or what might be in it. My fingers itch to reach for the blindfold, and I'm glad for the pressure of the cords against my wrists.Martin guides me forward a few more steps, stops me, and turns me with his hands on my shoulders."There's a cushion in front of you. Ease forward until you feel it against your ankles, then sit. It will be easiest if you go to your knees first and bring your legs around."I inch forward until fringe tickles the tops of my feet. "Martin?" Balancing on one foot, I curl my toes under and brush them clumsily over the cushion. It's soft and plush, velvet-like. "Should I really sit on this? I mean, I'm naked, and..." It washes." His tone is. Right then,I knew I was not being true to myself with how I ended it with Austin. Idid not treat my ex how I wanted to be treated. I ended a specialrelationship over something trivial.I told Shawn, even with us having a great time there would be no seconddate. I told him the truth. I still had feelings for my ex and wanted tosee if he would take me back. Like I said Shawn is a great guy and heunderstood. It was so sweet of him to say that Austin would be a foolnot to take me back and my ex better change whatever made me end itbetween us. I knew he was being supportive so I did not tell him theperson who needed to change was me. That I needed to get my prioritiesstraight.Even with it being a little late I called Austin before leaving therestaurant's car park. I did not want to wait to see if I could correctthe mistake I made. Austin told me he was doing nothing and I asked if Icould come over to talk. He said no. I knew why, he was en femme. Iasked again and told him I wanted to talk.
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