I was never spanked that way as a child and maybe that is why I crave it. Sometimes before I go to bed, I imagine him making me stand against the wall..."Get up and stand against the wall. Bring the book with you," he told me. "Keep reading." I did as he told. I faced the wall and kept my eyes on the words. He makes me stand against the wall with my legs spread, and he runs the belt along the ass. J did the very same thing and I felt a flush of excitement throughout my body. He tells me to kiss the belt because the belt will be used to punish me, to humble me and once I have taken my punishment, I will be Daddy's good girl again... I looked at J, scared. I had never revealed to him that I had this desire to be punished in this way, that I had even fantasized about being a bad girl. He had called me his slut, his slave, his dog. He had never called me Daddy's naughty little girl. He held the belt, doubled, up to my lips and nodded. I kissed it. When the strokes come, I cannot. How I wish we were – even if that meant going to prison. Prison and a time-limited sentence would be so much better than what I have now: a never ending life of abject servitude.To add insult to injury, as the day has worn on, they fed me bland, meagre, food and nothing else. My tummy is rumbling and I have been tortured by the wonderful smells of cooking.The main event is over now. I am surrounded by more tedious things to do. Rinse plates, stack the dishwasher, hand wash the glass and china – there have been twenty people here for goodness sake; I will be here till midnight. Then I have to wrap and put what has not been eaten back in the fridges and the cold pantry.I am eyeing the leftovers. They have had poached salmon. Some lies, quite untouched, on the serving dish. There is also some wine left. Actually one bottle is almost three quarters full.I wrestle with temptation. I should probably just leave all this. That's the "safe" thing to do and it's probably the "required" thing.
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