Either way, I wasn’t down with the whole social bullshit thing. On the rare occasion that I did get pussy, I was thankful that I didn’t have to waste another night rubbing off to some sleazy internet porn mass produced for the horny masses. I had been friends with Rochelle for a couple of years; we met at freshman orientation. Now that she was in my English class and our first test was coming up, I took this as a good opportunity to get at this little flower I had always dreamed about (I was tired of porn and fat chicks). I went ahead and bought an 1/8th of some funkadelic skunky (good pot for those of you who are out of touch with the contemporary counter culture) to prepare for the occasion. Rochelle had always been a good student, not overly bright, but she has a strong work ethic, and is a very moral person (her parents had raised her staunchly catholic). My roommate was at work when she arrived at my door wearing those clinging black styled pants that have been so popular. He got up or at least tried to and then he felt the increased pressure and constriction of that sleeping corset that seemed to split him in two. He tried to rise but found that his now rigid torso would not allow it. He eased himself sideways, slowly and carefully putting down one leg and then the other onto the ground. Using the bedpost and the bedside table for support, he lifted himself up onto two legs.On returning from his toilet, he noticed that both his ankles and his calf muscles were hurting and it suddenly made sense to walk on tiptoe back into his room. He put his hands to his waist and tried to move the garment about but it was tightly tied He then tried to find the laces. He found them but no amount of tugging or pulling would loosen them.He reached behind himself in a bid to loosen the knots but they proved impossible to reach or undo. He tried looking backwards into the mirror and saw that they had been well tied in several complicated knots. Then he remembered a sharp.
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