Mud was firmly encrusted between each one of them and was smeared the length of her feet. Amidst the dirt, it was just possible to distinguish a pair of tattered red sandals. My first alarming thought had been blood, but I decided to settle with red sandals – blood, after all would be slightly harder to ignore. Her legs appeared to have undergone some travesty also. Her white skin was speckled with grazes and cuts, one of which had left a thin dark trail running along the contour of her ankle. Her other ankle was decorated with a small gold chain desperate to separate itself from its troubled host. Her face was unremarkable. Her nose was small and slightly bent, offering her eyes a slightly disjointed expression. Underneath her tears, the eyes were just there. They offered no window to her soul, no clue to her person. No feeling. I think they were what struck me most and were certainly the part of her image that has woken me in a cold sweat every night since. The last detail I. We spent a little bit more time in the motel, played in the jacuzzi,kissed a bit more, had a second round in the bed and then we went out ofthe motel. I asked him to bring me to a taxi, I didn't want him to knowwhere I lived. He was not interested in a permanent relationship either(I guess he was married or had a girlfriend), but I decided to becareful (strange to think about this after I played the sex thing socareless). I never returned to that dance place again, and shut down theties to those ladies completely.After this first experience I became more confident and started toaccept those brainless flirting men for sex. By that time I had alreadyspent something like a full year in these activities. Soon, however,spending the weekends as Lena was not enough. It became increasinglymore difficult to turn back to my male self and go to work on Mondays.By that time I could hardly wait to go home at night, and I transformedinto Lena as soon as I arrived there, changing back only to go.
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