. do something Saturday? Or not do something?"I blinked, tilting my head to the side to look at him. "What are youtalking about?"He sighed. "We had a great time. At least, I thought we did. I know I did.Then we talked for, like, hours on Sunday. You sounded like you wanted togo out again." Okay ..." I wasn't sure where he was going with this."Then, today, you're kind of ... distant. Like you don't really want to bearound me, but you're trying hard to not show it."In a million years, I never would have guessed I would do what I did. Ireached out and placed my hand on his leg. Right above his knee. Thecontact sent another of those happy sparks flowing through me and makegoosebumps form on my arms."Lee, I had a great time Saturday." That had to be true, right? I might nothave actually been there, but judging from the number of times he and Pennyhad talked on Sunday, as well as the length of the calls, if she thought hewas a dud, she would have let him go to voicemail.He smiled, then. . again.I was older, but still of indeterminate age. Her face flashed into my mind. She was dressed for an outing, waiting at the front door for my father to pick her up and take her out. There was a tendril of memory, floating at the back of my mind, of a babysitter and my unhappiness at having this particular sitter stay with me.The still picture of my mother was engraved into my memory, because, instead of my father come to pick her up, there were two police officers and a clergyman. There words were far too soft for my little ears, and the baby sitter scooped me up and ran from the room, lest I hear and understand.Later...Was it years, later? Decades, maybe.There is no time when you're dead. Only now, forever...Another flash of memory.My mother, weeping at the kitchen sink, was holding a sheaf of medical papers in her hand. She stared at the papers as if they were a palpable enemy that she could rend, tear, or kill. Her tears were hard and angry – but soft, and almost helpless..
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