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We would dress to the nines and toast the start of the holiday season. I wept as I looked at the boxes stacked up in the basement. I felt awful knowing the happy times would not be here this year. I fought my sad thoughts as long as I could. I knew I was destined to just cry it out. I thought of Marie merrily bugging me to load the CD changer with Christmas music. I could almost see her coming down the stairs dressed in a festive dress teasing me by showing a little thigh. Her infectious laugh asking if the house looked good. I have no shame as I weep myself weak. My loss is so great. Thankfully Saturday has turned into Sunday. I don’t feel much better but I at least can go to work today. I have tried hard to work more. It takes my mind off my loss. As the week wore on I have been thinking a lot about the miscarriage Marie had a few years ago. We had a baby girl that got to 5 months before Marie miscarried. Marie and I were inconsolable for months afterward. I keep wondering if. I guess she made her choice. She just let him beat the living crap out of me, her partner and supposed mate.I tried to speak and then it hit me that my mouth was wired shut. I tried to raise my hand and it seemed to be restrained. I tugged on it and almost panicked. The doctor saw me struggling with the restraint and said in a soothing manner, "Sam, stop struggling. We had to tie you down to keep you from further injuring yourself. Whoever beat you up injured you quite enough without you adding to the damage. Now lay back and relax!"I did as he said and tried to relax. He said, "Good, now lay back and listen. You're still too raw today for me to talk with you about your injuries. Maybe in the morning? You promise to get a good night's sleep and I promise to fill you in early tomorrow morning. Deal?"I nodded my head very slowly. It hurt to move it.That night I dreamed about Kim, and that animal, Eddie. I dreamed Kim was standing at the foot of the hospital bed laughing at me as Eddie.
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