And when I removed that dress from my face… I saw Radhika in a black silky designer lingerie. ….Our conversation is like…Me (M) – Ratts ( I call radhika Ratts sometime) you look awesome sweetie. …Ratts (R) – ohhh really baby…M – Yaahhh honey….R – Then what you are waiting for … come and make me yours. ….I grab her and lifted her and make her hug from legs to my back… and I rested her back on wall and we started kissing rather its licking each other….. while kissing her desperately her boobs are crushing on my chest. …. She is pushing her love triangle on my stomach and I can sense her wetness there…Radhika is making such a erotic sound while kissing …. ohhh Raajj … ummm…. eat me babyy…. yesss …. ahhh… umm …… And I am literally following her order…..like she hired me as a slave…. but guys she knows that this slave is going to drill her deeper than ever….Still I didn’t even touched her Love Triangle by my hand or fingers. I was kissing her lips and squeeze her boobs….I sucked her. Feel him in the night tending them. Believe that he’s there. Then there’s light and the shower is still running. I leave it on even though the water bill is too high to pay. I like the sound of the water rushing over me. Let the water pour. Clean and hot and desensitizing, destroying prints and calluses, burning away bacteria, boiling needles to the surface of my skin. Mindless, hopeless activity. I sit in the shower without forgiven and need and lust and longing. The scars will never vanish. Never fade completely. But remind me of the torture of trust, the fool who gives over. The emptiness that follows desire. All of it written in stitches across the scars and curves of fingerprints from homemade thread and sewn with the needles that were thrown at me. I say you must move on because the only way to live is for yourself. But the mirror doesn’t believe me. It remembers how he said he’d die for me and believes that there is another way. Still, it knows that he read my hands and prints.
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